Why I took my oldest out of school

My son seemed to be doing well until the middle of 1st grade.  The teacher noticed some things going on and asked for a conference.  She said that my son was showing the same signs as her son with ADHD.  I did some research and I really trusted this teacher because I knew her outside the classroom as well.  I tried to go the all natural medication route and it didn’t work.  Finally I broke down and started him on prescription meds.  It made all the difference in the world.  He finished 1st grade strong.

Second grade was another story.  He struggled in many things and just couldn’t seem to stay at grade level.  The teacher thought it was maturity level and suggested we retain him. His birthday fell late actually but I trusted the school.  I figured he struggled so much with 1st grade before we actually got him medicated that it might have carried over. During that first year I noticed he had a hard time remembering things so when he started school again I asked for a specific teacher that I knew was strict yet helpful and would be more than willing to keep a watchful eye out.  He repeated 2nd grade and the grades were excellent.  The teacher was very good at making sure homework was brought home and put in place some strategies to help him remember things.

All seemed well until 3rd grade.  We got a fresh out of the box teacher. She was sweet and caring, not strict, she was trying to be every kids friend and hadn’t found her nitch yet.  About 6 weeks in I said something to the principal that I really thought my son needed a more seasoned strict teacher. I expressed my concern about what had happened in 2nd grade both years and that he already wasn’t bringing home homework.  He blew me off and told me to just have a conference with the teacher..so I did. In fact he was of so little help that I was conferencing with the teacher about every 2-3 weeks. She was tired of it, but all the suggestions I made of what helped, she said she was doing and it still wasn’t helping.

The biggest thing is there was no accountability for work. She didn’t care if he did it or not. She had 30 other kids to worry about and would let him slide with minimal work.  The next big problem was homework wasn’t coming home, if it was it was partial, a book with no worksheet, a half written assignment, no book for a subject he has written stuff down in. I again went to the principal and expressed my concerns. He said I was an overactive parent and that I needed to let my child fail on his own and to make consequences for his actions.  EXCUSE ME?? Let him fail?? Not an option. I walked out crying and made yet another conference with the teacher. I told her he cannot succeed if he doesn’t bring home homework, that he has trouble with memory, and it is worse when you rush at the end of the day. I told her I didn’t understand how he could bring his homework home every single day last year but not once this year.  I told her to talk to the other teacher from last year and get her tips.  I also asked the other teacher to talk to her just in case she forgot.  So I got a call from the current teacher and she told me the counselor was going to make sure he brought home his homework.  That lasted two weeks.

I also, during one of my visits, found out he didn’t pass a unit test in science.  That test reflected the last two weeks of work.  He had received two D’s beforehand and I wasn’t notified and the only reason she told me about the F was because I asked his grades.  I asked her how she could not let me know he failed and shouldn’t he receive extra help for that two week stuff?  She told me plainly that she didn’t have time to go back and go over it again, that the F won’t matter when averaged out with the rest of the science grades, and that he will go over the material again next year and will get it then.  So that was the last straw. I let him go the rest of the year, decided he was not going back, and never went to the school again to talk with anyone.

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