Monthly Archives: September 2013

A Change

It’s been a long while. Thanks for not leaving me!  The last month and some I’ve had to work outside the home. I want these medical bills gone and so that has forced me to go back to work for food money.  I dont mind working outside my farm, but I do mind the job I am doing. I am working at Dollar General. I”ve worked retail my whole life it seems. I’m no stranger to it and it came fairly easy to get back in the groove. The problem first came when someone asked me for pizza sauce. We dont carry it, so I suggested they make it themself. The look was crazy. I dont eat 90% of that food in the store and I hate selling it knowing that it is full of msg, GMO’s and its not organic.

The other problem is that this job is killing my body. Every since spring I have felt waves of fatigue. There would be times when I just had to nap..no question, no time..nap now or else. I’ve also had body aches and just general all over soreness. Now all summer if I felt bad I just didnt go outside or do housework. On the days I felt good, I just caught up what I didnt do the other day. It kept me normal all summer and I just dealt with it. However when I went to work, I didnt have a choice. If I was scheduled and felt tired and sore, I still had to work. This started building up and building up and by the end of the week I was so exhausted I couldnt do anything at all but sleep. I would wake my first day off and sleep all day full of pain and then the next day have to run around doing all I needed to do for the week and didnt do the day before. It got so bad that one day I cried because I was so sore and had to go to work 9 hours. That was the day I went to the doctor. After many tests that ruled out everything, she diagnosed me with fibromyalgia.

The days passed and the med had horrible side effects and wasnt really working at that time. I was tired, sore, and exhausted. I just wanted to go home. I had an hour break so I went home and took a walk. That is when I had a talk with God. “God I cant do this anymore. I know this is not your plan for me and I’ve tried to do this but I’m sore. I hurt, I’m exhausted. I dont see my husband. I feel rushed at homeschooling and I dont understand why you would have all of my farm stuff expanding only to have me work at a retail place. I cant do this anymore. You need to open a door to something better cause I dont know what else to do.”  That night after I got home, I laid down and got a text. A farmer friend of mine had his farm hand quit and he was looking for someone to help him. I immediately text him back. Turns out he wants to open a fermentation shop close by. He not only wants my help with that but he has jobs I can do on his farm long term. He is willing to let my kids join me at his place because he knows I homeschool. He pays more and I only have to work half the amount as I do now.

Today was my first day. I worked 5 hours because this is my last week at DG and I go to work at 8am tomorrow. I didnt want to exhaust myself.  I have to say the day was “right”.  It was peaceful, quiet and calm. I didnt hurt. I wasnt sore. I met a couple new friends and had time to talk to God like I used to. All I did was sort through some onions for 15 minutes and then thin out carrots.  There were a lot of carrots, but the day was perfect. The sun was hidden. The sky was blue. The temp was cool and I thinned and thinned. Easy, relaxing work, helping a man who loves helping people. God has blessed him and he in turn can bless me, so that I can continue my journey in blessing people who in turn bless others.  It’s the way it should be, the way God intended.  I am truly blessed and I thanked God a million times for letting me get back into gardening where the pain is less and bearable.

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